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 Stone Soules Quotations
The Good, the Bad, and the Just Plain Stupid: Actual Quotations of the Stone Soules
"I never let undead use my toothbrush." --Edwin
"We're trained cavaliers, we can dodge cattle." --Ceydric
"Elves don't play basketball." --Edwin
"They might be giants." --Ceydric (not Eli)
"Whatever." --Theo
"It's Ludo versus the volcano!" --an anonymous party member, on Corner Rock
"Couldn't we kill all the bugbears and sell their armor?" --Rachel, on making money
"Her bitchiness, the Duchess of Andevar, failed to tell me about the invisible guardian!" --Norton, assassin
"And just what do you think you're doing?" --Dranigh, to the illegal loggers
"@#$%!" --Hawk Fist-Slam, to the ogre village
"Party confidence is high!" --Zack, on morale
"Carved on his tombstone: `He had a play rating of 1.'" --Jack
"Runt, the new party mule." --Edwin
"What are you doing, banging me against an adamantite wall?" --Scythe, to Ceydric
"We're looking for information on ..." --Eli, moments before the Hordlings appeared
"Let's try putting the Fire Giant's hair in the fire to see if it kills the lice." --An actual quotation from an anonymous party member, though no one can explain to me its origin
"Tharizdun - Tharizdun - Tharizdun - Tharizdun ..." --Deirdre
'"And then Deirdre chanteth, "Tharizdun, Tharizdun, Tharizdun." Even her carefully crafted enchantments could not save her then." --The Tram Chronicles.' --From the Deirdre "Magic card"
"You never know with giant carnivorous vines." --Snag
"A million oysters cried out in pain." --an anonymous party member
"Wake me up when we get to kill things." --Kendall
"I'll try not to kill weird blobs anymore." --Ludo, on invisible wizards
"Gnolls? I fire at them." --Kyle
"Fire Giant in the box!" --an anonymous party member
"I am a great and honest river tradesman." --a dirty scoundrel, to Turney
"Well, that throws open the whole lavatory!" --Edwin, as a mage
"The Duke? Oh, he won't be a problem for awhile." --democratic forces member, to Faranyn
"Eli gives up looking for anything worthwhile to do." --Zack
"Men, I'm here with food." --Bruce the anarchist, trying to trick Ceydric's men-at-arms
"Be gone with probability models!" --an anonymous party member
"Russian tea tastes like mold... no, moles." --Jen
"Moles cause bronchitis." --Edwin
"All three cows die instantly." --Edwin, on Eli's Lightning Bolt
"The tall, dark one will fail to threaten you." --an astrology reading
"Actually, it's kinda cool." --Theo, while waving his arms in the dark priests' strange robes
"Snacking on elves with all kinds of dipping sauces..." --Edwin
"Does he have any gold teeth?" --Gor, upon examining the skull of Garamund
"Sahrak will cast an illusion of Zeus above the Fire Giants." --Rachel, on interesting adjustments to the Invisibility/Call Lightning scheme
"You got a mark of evil off you, didn't you?" --Menstat, to Eli
"Between my legs." --Groorg the Cunning, answering where his greatest personal treasure was hidden
"Only evil parties work with Fire Giants!" --an anonymous party member, on the Twisters
"Such is the foolish wish of the Council." --Tellah
"Let's get a thumper and RIDE the behir!" --unknown party member
"Turney's taking us on a journey" -- Gor
"My life is always in the hands of my lord Nevron. When the day comes for me to be taken, it will be at the time he chooses, not some evil deity or random monster." --Ceydric, on life
"I think the only enemies we have are the entire inhabitants of the elemental plane of fire, but I don't think
they're involved." --Kyle, on enemies, and vitrioli
"It's always good to give the priest of the sun god a room with a window." --Kyle
"Partial success will result in the deaths of thousands of innocents." --a trademark augury
"Now stand on your head, Joel, and gargle tacks." --Edwin
"Veenil never knew what hit him." --Kergul, on his master
"Why am I dead?" --Bernard Hemps, blacksmith possessed by Kergul
"The acid-spitting beast heads straight for Rangorn." --Edwin
"There is no level draining in the Library." -- a much-touted potential sign for the front of the Library
"Well that's probably because Eli is CONSIDERABLY more intelligent than Rangorn..." --Deirdre
"Deirdre has a tendency to be frank. Nothing wrong with that." --Xavier
"The Library is open. Such would have been the wish of the Council." --Orimaxes, the new Tellah
"Talk amongst yourselves..." --The Sphinx, in extortion mode
"Letier is the high priest of the Sun God... [explaining]... Marilyn is the Sun God's wife." -- Edwin, on Letier and Marilyn
"We lower Ludo down the hole on a rope!" --said one too many times by one too many people. Here's an actual variation: "Look, it's a dark pit. Let's lower Ludo on a rope!"
"That's how it always starts... just one more. Next thing ya know, we got another power mad halfling running around Telvar causing all kinds of problems... (Oh, hi Alan)." --Rodger, on halflings and magical DEX enhancements
"FIND FOOD FOR THE QUEEN - FIND FOOD FOR THE QUEEN - FIND FOOD FOR THE QUEEN..." -- Giant ants near Tan-El, to Dari
"We're not food. If you don't go over there, the Queen will be VERY ANGRY...." --Dari, to the ants
"FOOD OVER THERE - FOOD OVER THERE - YUP - FOOD OVER THERE...." [Exeunt Ants]
"Wow, I've received 30 messages in the last 3 hours!! Who needs bardic mail?" --Lauren
"If Tan-El ever becomes safe, I sure don't want to go there." --Eli, on boring places
"Ludo: "There's no way out!"
Eli: "If only there was a window..."
Faranyn: "Hey, I brought ours from the tower!" " --Edwin, on miscellaneous party equipment
"I would feel better if the Lawful Evil force was a devil instead of the kobolds, since the devil would be easier to get rid of!" --Jerem
"This is not a party you want to meet on a dark night." --Michael Chermside, after having read the SSOULES game summary on fighting the bugbears at the Ziggurat of the Witches
"Being generally bloodthirsty... Alegra and Eli quickly agreed." --Rangorn, on killing griffons for the Bird Men
"Ceydric dove out of the way just in time to avoid being smacked in the face by the airborne pig moving at 60
mph. An ignominous end." --More commentary from the Rangorn gallery
"Uh, Ceydric, is this bad?" -The Ludo Line, referring to whether it is time to use one of the party's "Last Ditch" items
"Rangorn catches the rockslide! Rangorn deftly gets hit square in the chest with a highly corrosive acid
grenade! Rangorn gracefully considers the use of throwing daggers versus full plate!" --Kyle
"Even the simplest of tasks become complicated by consistent bad rolling."
-Zack after the hapless bunny of power had successfully resisted the THIRD polymorph attempt
"If that was a "Lucky Day" I think the Stone Soules would rather die quickly than see an Unlucky Day." --Zack
"The truth about Juan Re, the Gnomish Swashbuckler and Sahrak's supposed wife will eventually be revealed." --Xavier, on Sahrak's wife-that-never-was
"A tower, a fortress, an elaborate pile of rocks, who can say?" --Edwin, on the fortification at the bugbear village
"Garfield's other great feat was to give meaning to the lives of alienated misfits all over the world, who if not for Magic would probably be wasting their lives playing Dungeons and Dragons." --Newsweek, not a SS quote, but had to be up here nonetheless |
